141: I am woman
A good friend of the LBP Lady B Believer's team said to me yesterday - and I quote verbatim - "being a mum is the hardest job in the world... why you'd want to do anything else on top that is beyond me". Huh. He also went on to tell me I needed a holiday, I looked like crap, and could probably do with a few days sleep. He's a good friend. Like, really good. Y'know, the sort of friend that can say all of that and you don't want to hit them over the head or tell them to " do one" for having been so rude. Especially about the looking like crap bit.
Importantly though, he (I think it's quite important for me to point out that a MAN said this comment that was aimed to boost me) has a point, about all of it in fact; it is a bloody hard job, and I could do with a holiday, some sleep, and maybe some new make up essentials that help the new eye bags / new face lines etc. The last few weeks have been pretty relentless and maybe taken its toll on me a little. A lot. Being Mama Lady B and Lady B proper, and then y'know, the real life me, can at times be a fair bit to juggle, even on the sunniest and easier days, let alone those slightly trickier ones.
Some days, being the real life me is the hardest. Lots of people call me Lady B. Or LBP. Or Bakewell whatsit. I love it, of course. Lady B is ME through and through. But then there's the name I was christened with, which actually, doesn't get a big mention, even Lord B refers to me by a pet name, as does Mother Mooncake. I realised I was trying to get Mini B to say my name rather than "mama" the other day. But more to the point, being me is harder than it used to be, what's that about? I don't remember ever finding this part tricksy, when did that change?! One thing I will say, is over the last few weeks, when I've had to bring "me" out in sticky situations, she's surprised me; she can be resilient, she can be a bit hardcore at times, she's friendly and polite even when people are rude to her, and she doesn't cry half as much as she used to. Yay me!
Lady B *is* me. I *am* Lady B. We are a mama, we are wife, we are friend, we are sister, we are a daughter. OH and we are a business woman, shuffling through all of the above and trying to keep cool. I *think* for the most part, I manage to do that. But when life throws me a curve ball (or three) and when I'm just working through anything or something a bit emosh, it's hard to keep my cool. Sometimes, just sometimes, it's absolutely necessary to take your foot off the pedal a little, re-prioritise the life stuff, what's in it and what matters...
THAT, Lady B Believers, is what we are doing over at LBP HQ.
So, whilst we do that, here's a little tune that sums up International Women's Day and Mother's Day for Lady B this year, both of which happened around her whilst it felt like a loose thread was unraveling. It's been my anthem the last couple of weeks whilst Mini B has tested my metal, and whilst the universe has begun to really test what I'm made of.
Me. Y'know, Becky.
Be good and bake well,