147: You got the love
Turning thirty; not so shabby after all.
The start to the new decade has so far done a darn good job of being abso-fucking-lutely fabulous.
However, I'm now entering the epic come down stage where I realise thirty looks much like twenty nine, only now I really AM a year older, I LOOK that year older, and I FEEL as tired and run- ragged as I did when I was but twenty nine. But I'm thirty now too. Sigh.
Lady B does however know how darn lucky I am to have had such a super week. It's kindly reminded me how fortunate I am to have a network of people that not only love me, but tell me when I'm wrong, being a bitch (sometimes this happens - hard to believe, I know), and when I really need to stop over thinking and let it go.
The night before I became a thirty-something, I wondered to myself; what if I hadn't walked into that room, or what if I hadn't got that tube; those sliding doors moments, if you will, of my life (namely my twenties, obvs) that have brought me to be who I am now....
I flew off to Copenhagen with Lady Peanut Irish a mere few days after my birthday and having traveled around the world with her, we are seasoned pros at knowing each other's cues; the airport security hand luggage hold (you take this, I take that etc), the pre flight drink requirement, and the headphones-on-drown-out-the-noise moment as soon as the cabin crew take their seats for take off. It's all silent recognition of which we slotted back into so easily that you wouldn't have thought it was nine years passed since we had last done it.
We did the lie ins, we did the cocktail drinking, we did the tourist shizzle. (We also abused Netflix Europe and starting watching The OC. I felt way too old.) We also did all the talking. One "talk", Lady PI landed on me was on our final night; do you believe in soul mates? I was three cocktails in, I was ready. I went for it. It was the only time the entire trip that I saw tears form in her eyes - which given the timing of our trip, for those in the know, more tears were expected - so this is INCREDIBLE by the way. I won't recount the entire conversation, but this I will say; yes, I do, but not solely in one. I believe we are destined to have many in many forms, because surely our souls are far too complex to lay our needs at one persons feet...? (I massively, MASSIVELY paraphrase here. If you want to hear more on these musings, Whatsapp me and we'll go for a drink. Or three.)
The sliding doors thing returned to me as we journeyed home following that soul mate conversation. I met some of those I consider to be inextricably part of my soul because I DID walk into that room, because I DID take that earlier tube, or because I DID just let them into my life, all more often than not, against what I thought may be better judgement. I make it sound like I have a throng of soul mates; no, these people are still few and far between, and special - so special - but they do just make me BING.
Turning thirty has made me have all the feels and all the thoughts. Clearly. But nothing new there then...
Turning thirty; pretty ace actually. Here's a big ol' thank you to all of yous that made me feel truly spoilt, loved, and beyond special; you are all really lovely human beans who make me realise that yes, I can not be right all the time. Quite often I is left instead of right. (I voted to see The BFG on my buffday - can you tell?)
OH and here's me trying to sum up - as promised - what Lord B surprised me with; it involved emoji cuddly toys, a 90s Ministry of Sound CD compilation, and a banana. Sounds weird. It was. It was a mental thirty seconds as it unravelled. They'll be a whole blog post I'm sure on what one wears to do this activity and, whether Mini B should come along for the adventure or not... Scratching your head yet?!
And so, here's to the next decade; to being wonderful - and as flawed - as the last.
My thirty, flirty and thriving tune is of course a track that reminds us how to be abso-fucking-lutely, on the money:
Be good and bake well,