166: Song of the Year - Go!
Four years ago, I was working - baking - in my kitchen up until the 22nd December. I remember it vividly because I ended the day by bouncing on a Swiss Ball and then my waters breaking at 3am.
No Christmas would feel the same now without working up until the wire packing orders, and then rolling into multiple birthday celebrations. It does however mean that the week before Christmas is a bit mad, and I get to the point where I think “I’ll sleep next week, it’s cool”.
And to top it off, this year, Lady B is ending 2018 packing orders no longer at the Suffolk Food Hall as her home, rather being back at her actual home whilst a wee build happens to create a new home for all things Bakewell. (That’s an understatement by the way, it’s not “wee” at all and way more than my tiny mind can handle and so gratefully, my retired Father Mooncake has become assigned Project Manager and he is loving every minute. That’s a quote verbatim by the way. He’s loving it. Mostly I think because we are spending a silly amount of time together choosing floor tiles and such.)
In a weird way, a lot of my decisions this year (like leaving the Suffolk Food Hall) were a consequence of what happened in May. I didn’t mean for that to be the case, it just sorta had a way of putting some things in perspective.
I have almost got back to my normal “driving” self, and I have most of my confidence back on the roads, but when I’m feeling a little vulnerable, I know to pull back a little and give myself extra time to take a right hand turn, for example.
There was one particular event this year that really made me feel like ME again. It was in June. It was at Wembley Stadium. I had had a day to myself - for myself - in London. I took a tube to meet my sister and popped some big earrings on. I hadn’t known at the time how special that evening would feel to me, or what it would do for me. But those few hours, that day, made me feel normal again. And genuinely, the most normal I had felt since the car crash. I had absolute genuine happiness envelop me, I sang and danced with total abandon, and felt entirely at ease. All with my big sis next to me.
It’s made this year’s Song of the Year song choice really tough for me. It seemed like it would so obviously be “Send Me On My Way” because that song quite literally did just that with the repetition of Matilda that my daughter insisted on whilst I recovered, and has since subsequently been a comfort blanket when I’ve needed it. But that night in June totally helped to take a layer of vulnerability and fear that I’d been carrying around with me since May 9th that I felt so wonderfully grateful for. I felt for sure it should be a Swift song; my most played artist of 2018 according to Spotify. But I genuinely couldn’t chose just one of her songs from her Reputation album. So. I whimped out…
My song of the year goes to M83 who write pop songs that don’t age. “Midnight City” remains to this day one of my ultimate best written pop songs ever - melody and lyrics - it is quite simply perfect. And so when I heard “Go!” I sorta fell straight in love. AND according to Spotify, this is in fact my most played song of 2018, not a Swifty. I urge you to take three minutes of your day and listen to it - either the live version below or the simple recorded version. It won’t disappoint.
And so, a word to my stinky older sis; thank you for being with me when I needed it most that June day, and for making me remember what silly-fun could look like. I remember leaning over to you whilst we waited for Taylor to come on, and whispering “I got in a car this week and drove” and you screaming so loudly with pride, that I almost fell off my chair. Thanks for being such a backer of me.
To David; I am still indebted to you for holding my little hand as I regained conciseness in that Audi, and for then comfortingly sending me on my way with the paramedics. You cross my mind more than I care to mention because your kindness helped me in ways I can’t articulate, at a time when I really needed it.
And to everyone else in between (and you know who you are); thanks for being such staunch supporters of this small human that still has shaky days and wobbly moments, but who can still shake it off like the best of them.
Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year.
Be good and bake well,